Have you ever noticed that when you set goals and make a plan to achieve them, it often includes making radical changes to your usual behavior? For example, you might plan to start waking up before work and going to the gym. The problem with that is that you currently make it to work by the skin of your teeth each day after hitting the snooze button multiple times. You want to stop ordering out and cook from scratch each night. However, with your current work schedule, you aren’t’ getting home until six or seven at night. By this time, you’re ravenous and want to eat right away. Does it make sense to alter your natural tendencies to reach a goal? Or not to take into consideration the reality of your life? Wouldn’t it make MORE sense to try to understand your natural instincts and current life situation and then use them to meet your aims?
People absolutely can make those behavioral changes with enough commitment and focus. Unfortunately, that level of commitment is usually unsustainable and in addition, meeting that one goal can take so much out of you that it becomes the sole focus. Other smaller aims may get pushed to the side in favor of focusing on that one item. That kind of focus is fine for finite goals like running a 5K or finishing a novel. You finish the race and you’re done. You write the book, and it’s over. Those things are not total lifestyle changes. But when it comes to daily changes like exercise, meal planning, budgeting, etc. they are hard enough on their own without the major behavioral change to go with it.
Therefore, I suggest instead of trying to change your nature to meet your goals, you ‘lean in’ to your habits and use them to your advantage. In the example of the person who wants to go to the gym before work but loves the snooze button, try working out at lunchtime, after work or even later in the evening. If you aren’t a morning person, trying to force yourself to become one and then make yourself a morning working out person at the same time might not be doable. Sure, you might make it work for a few weeks, but after a while, your natural tendency will take over and you’ll feel like a failure. You have to ask yourself, ‘What is the goal?’. If it’s to get fit, then doing it at a time better suited for you will be more likely to become a habit that sticks.
There’s no one size fits all way to achieve goals, so instead of going about it the usual way, take some time to deep dive into your natural behaviors and find a way to capitalize on them to reach your goals. To keep going with the example of working out, think about what you like about exercise. Here are some things to think about:
- Do I like going to the gym?
- Do I like being outside for exercise?
- Do I like playing a sport?
- Do I like intense or more mild workouts?
- Do I like working out with a partner?
- Do I like yoga, zumba, HIIT, pilates, CrossFit, etc.
- Would I benefit from a personal trainer?
- Do I have any injuries to be mindful of?
- Do I have small bits of time or large chunks to dedicate to working out?
- Am I a morning / afternoon / evening workout person?
I’m going to take myself as an example for this one. I have tried many things over the years to try to get fit. It has taken me until this year to embrace who I am and stop trying to recreate my behavior in regard to working out. I am NOT a morning person. Working out in the morning is not for me. I love workout classes, but I don’t like having to be somewhere at a specific time. I like the gym but usually do not go enough times a week to make the cost worth it and I hate wasting money. My days are all over the place, so I have to fit working out in when I can. Being motivated by statistics, wearing a FitBit and weighing myself daily have been helpful for me. Overly intense workouts are not for me. I prefer yoga, walking, weight training, etc. I like to be outside getting exercise. Sometimes, working out with a friend is helpful, but usually I prefer to keep my own schedule.
What I have found is that I can fit in a daily walk around my neighborhood when the weather is nice. Walking is my main source of exercise. I can usually get a friend or my husband to walk with me to keep me company. When I walk with another person, I walk longer but it does not seem like its longer because of the pleasant conversation. If I can’t find a partner, I listen to my favorite podcast during my walk. When I notice my steps are low on my FitBit, I’ll do some exercise on my own, weights, dancing, yoga, to bump up my step count.
Doing my exercise this way has been the most successful for me of all the things I’ve tried. I fully attribute it to taking into account the way I operate. I know myself and I know how I can work exercise in throughout my day. If you’ve never taken Gretchen Rubin’s 4 Tendency Quiz to find your Tendency, you should. I’m classified as a REBEL and I TOTALLY am. I need to do things MY WAY on MY TIME or it’s never going to work. This could also be a way to know yourself better and tap into that to realize your goals.
I know I’ve beat the exercise example into the ground in this post, but this method can work for all of your goals. If you spend some time figuring out who you are and how things work for you, you can eliminate some of the roadblocks that come with trying to change a habit or reach a goal. Especially when it’s something you’ve tried and failed at before. Even something as simple as determining if you are a morning or a night person. If you are a morning person, it would make sense to capitalize on that time and focus on meeting your goals first thing when you are most energetic. If you live by your calendar, scheduling in time to work on your goals will help. Reach out to a friend or family member if you need accountability, reach out to a friend or family member to keep you on track. The better you know yourself, the easier it will be to reach your goals without having to change who you are.
I’d love to hear how you take your tendencies into account to help you reach your goals. Shoot me an email, post on my Facebook page or comment below!
Resources for achieving your goals
Other posts relating to reaching your goals can be found in the links below:
Maximizing your Productivity with a Strategic To do List – The Neatest Nest
This post is all about the nitty gritty details of your goals. Making a well thought out plan to attack your goals can help you get to the end that much faster.
How to create a support group for reaching goals – The Neatest Nest
This one is a little more intense. If you want support and accountability, creating a group with the sole purpose of achieving goals is very helpful. I’ve done it in my own life and the amount of inspiration and creativity in the group is nothing short of amazing.
Crush Your Goals – The Neatest Nest
This post is a great resource for overcoming common roadblocks in reaching your goals.
Recommendations
The links to the products below are affiliate links. I receive a small commission when products are purchased via my links.
FitBit
An Apple watch or your phone can also help track your steps. I like the FitBit because its small and I don’t need any of the other functionality of the watch. In addition, its less expensive.
Other Trackers
There are other fitness trackers out there that don’t carry the FitBit name and do the same thing. They are even less expensive and do the same thing. This one from Garmin is inexpensive and has great reviews.
Four Tendencies Book
You know I love Gretchen Rubin and her book, ‘The Four Tendencies‘, can help you to understand your natural leanings and use them to reach your goals.
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