The story of how I organized my friends into a kick-ass goal getting group & support system.
I have a great group of friends. Most of us met when our sons were in kindergarten and have been friends ever since. Some of the newer friends were also made at our elementary school and everyone lives in or close to the neighborhood. We always have a great time going out to dinner for birthdays, hanging out at our community pool, girls’ nights out and so on.
Last Christmas Eve, we were celebrating one of our birthdays at the Cheesecake Factory. I had an uncharacteristic mid-day drink and was feeling pretty sentimental. It could have been the delicious Pineapple Moscow Mule, the thoughtful presents my friend received, or simply the holiday spirit that got to me, but I looked around at the ladies surrounding me and had a thought.
Each one of us has so much to give. We come together for fun and celebrations, why not harness our skills and talents and come together to support and better each other? We could meet regularly, discuss our plans and goals, and work together to help each person reach their full potential.
I mentioned my idea to the group, and everyone was on board! It helped that a new year was about a week away. What better time to start working on yourself? So, with that in mind, the ‘Goal Getters’ was born!
The Goal Getters
Using an idea I learned from Gretchen Rubin and her sister, Elizabeth, on the Happier Podcast, we prepared for our first meeting by creating a 23 for 2023 list. In lieu of New Year’s resolutions, you think up 23 things you want to accomplish during the year. We were to come to the meeting with our goals and talk about what they were and why you wanted to accomplish them. We went around the room and each person spoke about their goals. The first meeting was quite lengthy, but so inspiring!
Each month we get together and discuss which goals we’ve achieved and which ones we are struggling with. We provide constructive feedback and come up with ideas to help each other reach our goals. We play off of each other, we provide accountability, and we LISTEN.
The meetings are not only about reaching our goals. The group has shared struggles with health issues, marital problems, relationships with our kids and many more topics. We talk about finding ourselves and our purpose, bettering ourselves, making time for self-care and improving our financial situations. There have been many laughs and even some tears. It’s such a positive and supportive environment. The meetings have become the highlight of my month.
Things to consider
To create a good group, you need to have people involved who take the purpose of the group seriously. It’s not a ladies’ night or a party and it’s definitely not a place for negativity or judgment. It is a serious meeting for all of you to work through your struggles and come out the other side the best version of yourself. Not to say it can’t be a good time or fun, but the main purpose should be kept in mind.
To make progress, you need to meet regularly. It’s up to you how often you meet. Once a month has worked well for our group and we rotate houses, so the hosting responsibilities don’t fall on one person.
Ground Rules
Create ground rules! Our second meeting was a doozy–it lasted over 6 hours! That’s way too long. You can learn from my group’s mistake and create rules from the start. To remedy this, we cut down on chatty time before the meeting starts. We don’t often see everyone in-between meetings so naturally we want to catch up with each other. That is all fine & good, but this has to be limited or you’ll never get to the meeting. We agreed on a half hour timeframe where we arrive at the meeting, eat some food, catch up a little, get a drink and then settle in for the meeting.
Our second mistake was two-fold. The first part of the mistake was not having a ‘no interrupting rule’. As a person was speaking, others would jump in with their ideas, advice & opinions. Of course, this was all positive and constructive, however, it took away from the speaker. We would also go off on tangents and it would devolve into a general conversation way off topic.
The second part of this mistake was not having a time limit. We have never had to cut someone off for time, but the simple fact that we have one ensures our speakers keep it short, sweet & to the point.
People are encouraged to write down notes while each person is speaking so that they can give their insight or advice to the speaker when they are finished. We then go around and discuss what each speaker has said and how we think they can approach their issue or problem, give advice, offer resources, etc.
We finish each speaker’s time with a round of applause for all that they have accomplished in the month.
In between meetings
In order to keep up the connection in between meetings, we have a group text and a Facebook Group. I am in charge of the Facebook Group, and I try to post inspirational quotes, check-in reminders to keep everyone on track, meeting details and information pertinent to topics discussed at our meetings. Anyone in our group can post and share on that page as they feel.
The group chat is more for sharing our immediate accomplishments, coordinating meeting dates and funny anecdotes.
Product Recommendations
Note: The links below are my Amazon Affiliate links. I receive a small commission for any purchases made from these links. However, I will never recommend items I have not personally used myself or had experience with in some capacity.
For our first meeting, I gifted each Goal Getter with a few things. The first being these cute motivational journals to take notes in. Each person got to pick from one of the three sayings–Stop Wishing, Start Doing, Small Steps Every Day, or Live Your Dream.
The second gift was a pretty folder with another motivational saying. We kept our 23 for 23 lists in them and other papers I gave out on goal setting.
The third gift was these super fancy diamond pens to use to write down our goals and notes during the meetings.
Resources
If you want to create your own 23 for 2023 list, head over to Gretchen Rubin’s website.
My group’s ground rules can be found here.
Other great resources for these meetings are any Gretchen Rubin’s ‘Happier’ podcast, Eve Rodsky’s Find Your Unicorn Space, and Gretchen Rubin’s Better than Before book about habits.
To learn more about my personal journey that led me to make this group, you can read my post Lesson Learned the Hard Way. To read about some tools to help reach your goals you can read my post Crush your Goals.
Did you create your own group? I’d love to hear about it! Comment below or send me an email.
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